Is our belief in ‘love’ the reason why we divorce?

Several hundred years ago — when modern divorce law didn’t exist — it wasn’t very common for two spouses to separate and leave one another. The notion of “until death do us part” was taken a little more seriously back then.

These days, we see marriage and divorce in a dramatically different way. Society has even created laws to govern what happens when one of the spouses chooses to call it quits on a marriage. According to one psychologist, the ease of the modern day divorce process is largely because we now believe that everlasting, enduring love is a necessary component of marriage. To this effect, we also believe that if love isn’t in the marriage, then it’s perfectly logical to proceed with a divorce.

The idea of “romantic love” came about at the same time of divorce

From approximately 0 A.D. through the 17th century, divorce wasn’t typically something people were able to do. Married couples were together for life, no question about it. Furthermore, getting married did not center around being in love; rather, it centered around issues of inheritance. Until the 19th century, passionate, sexual love between spouses was frowned upon.

In the 19th century, romance novels and a new, enlightened way of thinking came into vogue. Marrying for love as opposed to marrying for convenience and financial reasons became more important to people. The problem was, people fell into and out of love on a regular basis. Marriages built on romantic love, therefore, might not always endure, which brought us to the idea of divorce and the need to create an avenue for two married partners to dissolve their union.

A more positive way of looking at divorce

Divorce law started at the same time as the concept that romantic love is a necessary component of marriage. In this sense, we can see the positive side of divorce, as the process recognizes that two partners who aren’t in love with each other shouldn’t be required to stay together for eternity. Instead, these partners should be free to continue looking for the true love they long for.

Are you ready to start a new chapter in your life?

If your marriage was initially built on love, but that love is no longer there, it’s not a sign that your marriage was a failure. It’s just a sign that you’re human. People grow and change over the years and just because your marriage may have worked at one point in your life, does not mean that it works today. If you’re ready to end your marriage in a peaceful and respectful fashion, make sure you understand the details of Tennessee family law before you begin your divorce process.