Many people feel tested during a divorce, especially if an ex is angry and bitter. Even if the divorce was the ex’s idea or doing, it does not mean he or she will not make it a miserable and difficult experience.
When emotions run high, and anger and animosity seem to overflow between one or both spouses, your divorce runs the risk of escalating. In a high conflict proceeding, it may become impossible to find common ground on any matter. If you find yourself in the midst of a difficult divorce, you may want to try some of the four strategies below.
- Avoid contact
When one ex is trying to wreak havoc on the other, it is critical that you do not put yourself in a position to fall for any ploys. Keep contact to a minimum, and only communicate in writing. If the ex insists on speaking on the phone, do not answer. Your attorney can also inform the other party about your intent to communicate in writing.
- Do not broadcast your divorce
You may want the world to know how horrible your ex is, and while that is a normal reaction, you should resist. Sharing your divorce insights may lead the court to find you a willing participant in the conflict.
- Do not react
Your ex is going to attempt to push your buttons, so do not fall for it. When something sends you into a tailspin, take a few breaths before proceeding. Even if in writing, do not send a scathing response. Let your ex look bad, not you.
- Remain consistent
When dealing with a high conflict divorce, staying the course and sticking to a schedule is paramount. Even if the other party is not holding up his or her end of the bargain, you should. It will look better to the court.
Divorce is often emotional, but when one ex decides to make it a war, the other has to engage or take the high road. Try your best to make it the latter.